You Talk to Me

Bonusland: Not to mention, God TOLD Onan to impregnate the bitch.
whlteXbread: Wow, how do I not remember who Onan was?
Bonusland: OK, here's the story.
Onan was a dude, he had a brother, his brother had a wife.
God didn't like the brother, so he killed him. Said he was evil and shit.
So then God said to Onan, go fuck this broad. Your dead brother's wife. We need more babies because there's only like 23 people in the world so far.
whlteXbread: Who was Onan the son/relative of?)
Bonusland: The son of Judah and Shua.
So, Onan banged his used-to-be-sister-in-law-but-now-she's-a-widow, but he felt bad about it so he pulled out.
Or, "spilled his seed on the ground." as Moses called it.
whlteXbread: And then Onan got dead?
Bonusland: So yeah. God didn't like Onan's birth control method, especially when God wanted a Godson, so he killed Onan.
Technically the first Skeet ever.
Or at least the first documented one.
whlteXbread: right. i love this: "so then God said to Onan, go fuck this broad."

Bonusland talks to whiteXbread about Onan